Vampire Sex

Conversation from last night:

(A commercial for Breaking Dawn comes on TV)
Dave: (Sarcastically) Ooohhhhh, vampire sex!
Nicole: (Totally forgetting that Sonia is standing by me) I love vampire sex!
Sonia: Vampire sex? I don't like vampire sex! It's boring!

Here you go Daddy!

Dave just posted this on Facebook, but this is the type of thing that needs to go in this blog:

Sonia just walked up to Dave, smeared a gob of slime into his hand and said "Here you go, Daddy - this was in my nose."